Blessed

Well it's official - Reese and I will not be making the trip to CA for Thanksgiving. And to that i say "EF YOU SWINE FLU!"

I'm so completely bummed out. I LOVE going to CA for Thanksgiving (or any other time of the year for that matter) and just relaxing at my Dad and Lisa's house - just kickin' it. But, i guess it's not to be this year. This also means that Nathan won't be with Reese and I for our first Thanksgiving as a family. Super sucks.

When i arrived to pick up Reese from Kathi's house today i met her niece, Jackie. Apparently she's a pediatric nurse so of course i seized the opportunity to pick her brain on the whole thing. She made it perfectly clear that bringing Reese on an airplane right now was NOT a good idea.

I also asked her for an opinion on getting her vaccinated and she expressed what Nate and I were thinking - not enough research done for someone her age. SO...looks like we won't be making the 1.5 hour trip to the only county in NJ offering a clinic for her age group (FYI - children who are between the ages of 6 months and 2 years old can only get the injectible vaccine - not the nasal).

Apparently her co-workers who have children are acting just like me. Not bringing their kids to malls anymore - or even the grocery stores. They also aren't getting them the vaccine. She told me not to think twice, that i wasn't the only mom being this cautious. Although i didn't give a rats ass what anyone thought of me for being so careful, it is nice to hear that you're not the only Mom who is taking precautions that, to some, may sound a bit overboard.

I have to say though, just when you think you have it so bad as a parent you hear something that makes you so completely grateful for every moment - good or bad. We found out today that a girl we went to high school with just lost her third and youngest son (17 months) when he was mauled by the babysitter's dog. Why these things happen i will never know. All i do know is the thought of what they are going through right now is enough to make me physically ill. How helpless and lost they must feel is unfathomable. Not only have they lost a son, but their sons have lost a brother. God bless them.

So tonight i am reminded to count my blessings - every single one of them. Sometimes life throws you some pretty crappy situations and decisions to be made, but never can anything come close to losing a child.

You Can't Prepare for This

When i was pregnant with Reese i would receive endless, unsolicited advice. Most of it consisted of the same stuff, "Oh god. Just be prepared to get no sleep for a few months." "That's it! Once that baby arrives you can't just pick up and go when you want, where you want!"


Ok. So, it is true that you don't get sleep for quite some time. And it will get to you, and some days you'll think you can run on 3 hours of sleep - and other days you're pretty sure they're gonna have to cart you away to the looney bin because the exhaustion has taken on a life of it's own. But honestly, there is no way to prepare for sleep deprivation. Not when you're being deprived of sleep because you're a new parent. Not only are you not sleeping, but the first few weeks are spent learning how to do all this crazy stuff, while not sleeping.


Sure, we can take classes to "prepare" and read books, but the emotional decisions that we make as parents are something you just can't prepare for.

Now something as, what used to be simple, as traveling home for the holidays has proven to be a difficult decision. Our tickets are booked and we've been planning on going for quite some time now. Enter the swine flu. Yup. It may sound totally ridiculous to some, but the swine flu may just be keeping me and Reese from going to California for Thanksgiving.

I know this would probably sound so totally asinine to me before i had Reese, if i knew of someone who was considering cancelling a 3,000 mile trip with their baby because of the swine flu. But you know what? Now that I'm a Mom and have this tiny little person to protect, it doesn't sound so asinine anymore.

Right now I'm doing my due diligence to ask doctors and others in the medical field for their opinion. I've also gone to several websites to find out about the vaccination and side effects. At this point our pediatrician does not expect to get it at his office. So the first question is can we get it. The second is, do we want her to have it. I don't know about either of these.

Then there's a question of if we should bring her on a plane. Expose her to thousands of other people who may or may not be sick, possibly with this flu, and have her sit with 100+ other people on a plane for 6 hours where the same air is circulated the entire time.

I'm thinking...NO. But the thing is...never did i ever think that making this type of choice would be such a big deal. THIS is the kind of decision that you don't think about when you're preparing to be a parent. And even if this type of situation has crossed your mind...there is no way you would know what you would do until you're in the situation.

So, as of now, i really don't know what we'll do. From the medical professionals I've spoken to, most of them are saying they don't recommend she travel. That, to me, is huge. Basically, my gut is telling me she shouldn't go on that plane. Because, as a parent, i would never forgive myself if anything happened to her because i decided to take a chance.

Whether we go or not remains to be seen. I'll be making the decision as the best parent i can be. I'll be prepared to upset people and receive plenty of comments and insight - but i don't care. When it comes to being a parent, nobody can (or should) ever judge you for protecting your child.

Period.

P.S. ALL of the sleep deprivation and emotional decisions...totally worth it. Hands down.