Regrets

So as i type this Nathan is on his way to California for Thanksgiving.

Since i had been SO confident in our decision to not take Reese i hadn't really thought about being upset that Nathan was still going. I figured it would be like any other time that we were apart for one reason or another.

I was wrong.

I'm SO stinkin' sad about the whole thing - especially now that he is in route and we're not. Don't get me wrong, i'm not second guessing our decision, because i really do think we made the right one, but the whole thing just SUCKS arse.

A part of me was really looking forward to traveling together (and a big part of me was dreading the first plane ride with an 8 month old) as a family. The bigger part of me was just looking forward to being back in California since we seem to miss it a lot lately. Nathan called from the airport and said it was really empty which just irked me since i kept assuming it was going to be ridiculously crowded which would make bringing the baby even more dreadful. So i was wrong there.

I'm already thinking of when we'll re-use our tickets and fly out (hopefully in the spring). I want Reese to be a traveler most definitely, but the older they get the harder it is for some time at least, since they become more and more mobile. I guess we'll just have to get creative when we do fly with her on how to keep her busy.

I never wanted to be one of those parents who seemed "too careful" (although i'm not sure that really is ever possible when you're responsible for another life), and i know that some people think i was totally ridiculous for making the decision that i (we) made. What i have to remind myself is this: Making the decision to not fly with Reese during one of the worst flu seasons in history was solely based on that fact and that fact alone. It's bad right now. Was it guaranteed that she would get the flu? I don't know. Was it guaranteed she wouldn't? I don't know. What i do know is I stand by my decision to protect her in the best way i could. It has NOTHING to do with not wanting to go to California (quite the contrary, in fact), and it has nothing to do with being over protective. I do think kids should travel and be brought up in an environment where they can learn to "go with the flow" (although i've learned quickly that children don't understand that motto). But if traveling across the country and going with the flow means risking her health right now - then i won't live that way.

So while i don't regret not going, i regret assuming that this week would be easy for me. I regret convincing myself that i wouldn't be sad, or cry a little, when my husband left without us to take a trip that, as a family, we were supposed to take.

Now i'm trying to focus on enjoying the next 5 days off with my baby girl and fit in some much needed quality time.

So, until spring, California - here's to my husband flying with angels and returning home safely to his two girls who miss him tons already!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Be thankful for everything you have as there is always someone who has it worse then you.

Bad Blogger

That's what i am lately.

Life has taken on...well...a life of it's own. It seems more and more lately that i'm fighting to "beat the clock" so to speak on the weekends and at night. I just can't get it all done, and unfortunately the stuff i enjoy doing, and want to do, just gets put at the bottom of the list.

Sheesh. I have SO many random thoughts right now it's ridiculous, but i'll spare you all too much randomness this time.

I think Reese may be getting a tooth or two very soon. She just seems to be doing some odd things with her mouth lately, and she's constantly rubbing her bottom gums with her fingers now. She's also waking up at random times in the middle of night. I watch her through the monitor (baby registry tip: the video baby monitor is a MUST), and she just seems to be uncomfortable. I usually let her figure it out on her own, but obviously i'll go in there if she starts screaming and seems to be in discomfort. Any chance i get to spend time with her, even if it's rocking her at 2 a.m., is a chance i'll take these days.

She's also figured out how to tuck her knees underneath her when she's on her belly, so i think we may be on our way to crawling. Right now she doesn't get up on all fours quite yet. She actually scoots herself onto her toes, butt in the air, and pushes her body forward to get to something now. It's so funny. And she's insistent upon pulling herself into a standing position on everything she can. She also seems to get the whole walking concept lately. When she seems antsy i'll stand up with her and hold her hands and she "walks" in front of me - and she actually puts one foot in front of the other now. Granted she looks like she got into Daddy's mini fridge downstairs...but she's getting it nonetheless.

Work is work. Enough said.

Nate leaves for California on Wednesday. Although we were all supposed to stay for 10 days, he changed his ticket and will be coming home on Tuesday instead, so i'll only be home alone with Reese for a week. I took off Wednesday and Friday of next week so i get to spend 5 days off with her. I'm so excited, but i know from the last time Nate went out of town that doing it all by yourself for multiple days in a row is exhausting. I've said it before and i'll say it again - i honestly don't know how single mothers and fathers do it. My respect for them grows more and more every day.

And a little follow up from last week's chaos: I stopped taking the Flomax. It wasn't allowing me to nurse anymore and as ok as i would be with Reese not doing it anymore at all, i just remember how hard i worked to do it and figure why not keep at it a little longer. Nate feels pretty strongly that i should stop soon. Something tells me once she does break a tooth i'll feel the same way. Until then, she's nursing once in the morning and once before bed. She gets two bottles of formula at Kathi's (by the way - formula is a fortune...and even the largest container goes fast).

I think i passed my stone. It must have broken up since i didn't really feel it make it's exit and for that i'm grateful. RIP pet rock.

I'm off to bed.

I promise to catch up on some recipe posting this weekend too!

Papa was a rollin' stone...

And, as it turns out, so are my kidneys.

On Monday morning i was minding my own business, playing with Reese on the floor when i was struck by the wrath of what turned out to be kidney stones.

It came on SO quickly i didn't even know what was happening. First my back hurt, then it started shooting into the lower right portion of my stomach. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. The pain was ridunkulous. Seriously.

I said to Nate "Ugh - my back really, really hurts." He just kinda looked at me like "Yeah - what do you want me to do?!?" In his defense, i didn't want to make a big deal out of it, since i didn't know what was going on. Then, while he ran to the restroom to brush his teeth, Reese started whining and reaching for me so i went to pick her up. I literally was hunched over carrying her down the hall to Nate - and once i handed her off I feel right to my knees. At that point i said "call an ambulance!' which is crazy to me because never, have i ever, taken a ride in an ambulance or (thankfully) felt that i was in enough pain/danger to need to. But this, oh yes, this was different.

In the meantime Nate called John who drove right over and ended up taking me to the ER. It's right around the corner from our house so he got me there way faster then the ambulance would have. Of course this also had to be the morning where Reese had another doctors appointment since she had yet another ear infection.

Fast forward to the first round of pain meds that didn't do a damn thing, then the morphine (ahhh), then the cat scan, xray and blood work. 8 hours later, and convincing them to not make me stay overnight, and i was on my way home.

And that's where I've been ever since, straining my urine, waiting to catch my pet rock.

Reese is nursing her second ear infection in two weeks, but thankfully the meds seem to be helping so far.

So, in a nutshell, it's been a great week at the Albano household...and it's only Wednesday. Ahhh...how i only hope the rest of the week can be just as exciting.

And have i mentioned that I'm over this whole work gig? Shame on me - since the unemployment rate is currently at it's highest in years. But it's not about that - it's about wanting to be home with my daughter. The daughter who now claps her hands after she does anything at all. And guess who taught her that? Kathi. Not me. Kathi.

Sucks.

SCORE!

I'm home alone tonight....well Reese is here too, but she's sleeping already. Nate is off to the St. Peter's Prep football game to watch Ralf play in the "big game." I was supposed to go too, but ended up not having a babysitter so here i am, sitting on the couch.

The good news? There's a marathon of "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC. Woot woot! I LOVE this show. I guess it just goes to show that i do really have an obsession with weddings.

I know. Loser.

In other news, i seem to have this major issue that won't go away. I think i might suffer from adult ADD. Seriously.

Ever since returning to work all I do is find myself not being able to focus on anything work related. I'll be on a conference call for an hour and the only thing that goes through my head over and over is "What the hell are we talking about?" or "SHIT! What did they just say?"

It totally sucks. I just can't concentrate. All I can think about is all the stuff that needs to get done in the house, or how i would rather be with Reese....or better yet spending money at the mall with Reese in tow all while someone cleans my house for me.

Huh.

Piercings and Pumpkins

This one is waaaaay overdue...sorry.

We had a 1st birthday party (so fun!) the day after Halloween and then i had a three day program to run down in Princeton Monday through Wednesday.

Needless to say, I'm farking e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.

So rewind to last week. I had been asked on Monday afternoon if i was available to present to a group of people on Tuesday in NYC. Then i was in Jersey City on Wednesday to help run two Financial Advisor training programs that were running simultaneously. On my way there (and after being sent to the wrong hotel - and having valet park my car) i found out that Kathi was sick and couldn't take Reese. So i called Nate in a panic and said "don't drop off the baby! You have to stay home with her." And that's what he did.

And then that's what i did for Thursday and Friday. And i can't lie - it was fun. We played, shopped, and played some more. Basically just reminisced about the good ol' days when i was still on maternity leave. Good times.

So Thursday was filled with a make up Gymboree class (since we skipped a class a couple of weeks ago). While there i bought one of Reese's favorite things we get in class...bubbles! In turn, this is what Thursday looked like:

Then along came Friday. And what's a couple of girls to do on a beautiful Friday when swine flu is floating around all the major shopping malls? Well get their ears pierced of course! Yes, that's right, it was time for the little Peanut to get her lobes beautified. Once Nate was home i attempted to get a good picture - but wasn't very successful - but here's what Friday looked like:

By the way - i had them done by a doctor who has been doing it for over 40 years - not at the mall.

Then came Halloween. We had tons of fun going to Gymboree in costume and then having my cousin Jessie, her husband Ronnie and little boy Bailey over for lot's of pictures and dinner...and a group bath (between the babies that is):

You can't truly appreciate how hard it is to get a "good" shot of two babies in the tub at the same time until you try it. Just picture yourself juggling a 15 pound greased turkey in a tub of water. Not easy.

I also stumbled upon the H1N1 nasal vaccine today - so i got it. Although I'm not sure how i feel about getting the vaccine for Reese, i figured I'm willing to take the chance on myself and thought it was just another way to protect her. I'll let you all know if i get any side effects from it.

I'm pretty sure i know the next recipe I'll be posting so stay tuned.